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Monopoly Money

It’s said that 80% of Covid deaths occur in people over 70, may they R.I.P. That’s a lot of Social Security money going back into the treasury. Not that it matters. Our money is simply Monopoly money to be spent by Congress on any number of crazy “pet” projects.

Like the $1,557,083 they spent last year to find out the effects of walking Lizards on treadmills. “I always wondered about that,said no taxpayer ever.

What about the $4,575,431 of our money that Congress spent on a study spraying alcoholic rats with bobcat urine. Alcoholic rats? Why not let them drink themselves to death? They could probably hire the Pied Piper for a few hundred bucks. Or… I could tell them for free where to buy a rat trap. I’m scratching my head to understand the point. Bobcat urine, bobcat urine… for the life of me I can’t wrap my head around it. Maybe I’m just stoopid. Here’s a theory—maybe they just want alcoholic rats to fit in while infiltrating the homeless community—so they can study the Bubonic Plague. Naw, that would be too unpopular. And still doesn't explain bobcat urine.

$1,327,781 to find out if Americans will eat ground-up bugs. That one’s a little easier. With all the lock-downs and now higher taxes certainly coming our way, the American people might have to actually resort to eating bugs. But must they spend the extra money to grind them up? Go figure.

Then there’s the $36,831,620 spent to abuse mice to find out if stress turns their fur gray. Geez, they coulda asked me. The answer is yes. So what? Maybe they just wanted to torture animals. I wouldn’t pile all of Congress into a psychopathic lump—some actually do care about animals and the country—but most are seriously bat-shit crazy. Why instead, didn’t they investigate the theory that the Covid came from a Chinese Lab and not from bat shit?

Here’s another. $874,503 to study the sexual habits of quail on cocaine. All the quail I know prefer birdseed and I’m pretty sure it's cheaper than drugs. So are quail more likely to breed while on cocaine? Good question and worth the money. Not.

Those are some examples of the Animal research studies Congress spent your tax money on in 2020. That doesn’t include the non-animal Pork Spending on outrageous super-lame projects in other more important countries.

—$8.6 BILLION on anti-drug efforts in Afghanistan

—Millions to reduce hookah smoking in Eastern Mediterranean youth

—$150,000 to fund classes for Kenyan artists and performers

—Tens of millions to combat truancy in the Philippines

—$174,000,000 million for lost drones in Afghanistan

—$48,000,000 to help disconnected Tunisian youth not feel like a problem.

—$25,000,000 for gender studies in Pakistan

Rand Paul’s office explained that the tax money wasted in 2020 is enough to build a two-lane road that wraps around the entire Earth 18 times. That’s a lot of Monopoly money that is better spent by real monopolies like Big Tech and Big Business conglomerates.

Nobel-prize-winning economist Milton Friedman said, “If I spend somebody else’s money on somebody else, I’m not concerned about how much it is, and I’m not concerned about what I get. And that’s government.”

Well guess what? I’m concerned. The taxes I pay are hard earned. Sacred even. So what’s the average person to do? There’s only one way to truly limit the waste of taxpayer dollars. We must put a stop to the monopoly spending game. And the only way to do that is to limit the scope of government itself. Argh! Good luck with that!

Relaxing in a hot tub is a good way to deal with the stress of wasteful, never-ending government spending. At least I think it is. We’ll know for sure when the $2,004,704 study comes in. Or maybe I'll just try playing a good ole' game of Monopoly.