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G.O.A.T.

It’s a win/win. No matter who triumphs in the Super Bowl championship this Sunday, my husband and I will do the whoopee dance—not to be confused with the whoopee cushion, although both involve an exuberant bum-rush. Whichever way it goes, it will be like feasting on the Breakfast of Champions, but substituting Li’l Smokies and bean dip, both of which contribute to… never mind.

This year it’s the battle of the quarterbacks. Young Punk vs Old Fart (sorry, I’m on a roll.) It’s a bonafide Clash of the Titans. A squabble between the M.E.Y.M.I.T. and the G.O.A.T. You know who I mean—The Most Exciting Young Man In Television against the Greatest Of All Time.


If you’re into sports you know exactly who I’m talking about. Patrick Mahomes is the youngest quarterback in Super Bowl history and Tom Brady is the oldest. If you’re into film instead of football the M.E.Y.M.I.T. and the G.O.A.T. would be Tom Holland (young Spiderman) vs Morgan Freeman. If you’re into music it might be Shawn Mendez vs Tony Bennett. In politics—unlike Mahomes and Brady—Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez vs Nancy Pelosi would be a lose/lose. But let’s not go there.


Full disclosure: I sound like a dyed-in-the-wool NFL fan. In actuality, I’m a dyed-in-the-wool people watcher. I love watching the commentators salivate over the players and the reactions of the coaches. I love watching the exchanges between the players and the expressions of the fans. And even the cheerleaders as they pretend that their focus is more on the game than their own bodies.


I especially enjoy the commercials. And sometimes even the half-time entertainment. Like, say if Maroon 5 rips off his shirt to showcase his tats (and abs.) Or to cluck my tongue at the degradation of the dancing and costumes (even when they don't malfunction). Watching my husband scream and yell as if he can actually make a difference is an added bonus. The Super Bowl is a people watcher’s heaven!


Most years I’ll cheer for one team or another for one reason or another, usually leaning towards my husbands team. This year, however, is different. It isn’t every year you get to watch a M.E.Y.M.I.T. and a G.O.A.T. go shoulder to shoulder, head to head. And it isn’t every year our team comes out on top.