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Comrade Potato Head

Cancel Culture’s latest victim is… drummm rollll… you guessed it. Mr. Potato Head is no more. Introducing the all new gender-neutral “Potato Head.” Eunuch Potato Head didn’t quite cut it, nor did Hermaphrodite Potato Head. What about Gynandromorph Potato Head? Uhhh... nope. Sadly, there’s just no good word to describe such insanity. Soon Barbie and Ken will go the way of all disparaging stereotypes. I can’t wait to explain that to my granddaughters…or my grandsons. “Androgynous Barbie, meet Eunuch Ken.”

Cancel Culture will have their work cut out for them if they ever go after the Latino/Latina language, which is okay by me. I’ll finally be able to habla Español. I’ve always been confused by words that have a gender. You might say it’s been a serious problemático for me—or is it problemática? It’s all so desconcertar/desconcertarse! In some ways Russian is a much easier language to speak than Spanish. The word Comrade applies to both male and female. We could simply call him/her/it Comrade Potato Head.

Did you know that Congress actually voted to prohibit saying Father, Mother, Husband, Wife, Sister, Brother, Grandfather, Grandmother, Girlfriend, Boyfriend etc. on the floor of the House? So confusing. They’ll really be in trouble if they start banning tenses. It wouldn’t be easy to say Ex-boyfriend in Congressese! Hey, I have an idea. Let’s stop all this nonsense and simply call a girl spade a girl spade and a boy spade a boy spade. Um… bad example.

Nowadays neither gender can claim exclusivitie qualities. They insist that men can have babies and breast feed--only now they want to call it "chest feed!" OMG! What genderless planet do "they" come from and can they please go back? The only answer to that is that the Genderless Planet canceled sex resulting in propagation and now they want to bring their policies here.

It seems that Cancel Culture is happening everywhere. When I was young, Double-Dutch was a jump-rope technique instead of a labyrinth of word-speak that inflicts fear and humiliation. It’s ridiculous. Even our kids have to deal with such codswallop blither blather. My 15-year-old granddaughter wrote a poem that beautifully illustrates how she has personally been affected.


Never in my life would I think to fear talking about my favorite things,

To voice my opinion, or to confess or to sing.

My opinion was wrong to you,

And you shut me down with your feelings.

You come after me like thunder comes after lightning.

The thunder is swift and it rattles.

Just because I said something that was wrong to you,

You chose to battle.

What did I do wrong?

I speak nothing but the truth.

But you can only handle,

What has already gone on.

But I guess it is 2021.

No one can deal with sarcastic fun.

What do you expect from people who,

Act like snowflakes that dry up in the sun?

Everyone and everything are now a trend.

It’s pathetic that you’ve hopped upon the same train as them.

But one last question, please tell me honestly.

Where is your personality from, Wannabe? “The internet.”

Your life revolves around the internet, Sis.

You cancel me for something you do not agree with?

You are a sheep. I would think you would know,

A little something before you go and weep.

All because you cannot think for yourself, you cancel this and cancel that.

And now a woman doesn’t have a scholarship, in fact.

Now that man cannot pursue his dreams.

Never in my life would I think to fear talking about my favorite things.M

Is it PC to say Out of the mouths of Babes? I don’t care who disagrees with my opinion, my granddaughter wrote that poem. I refuse to refer to her as an “it.” The man I married is a manly man. My dogs, Wally and Iris are male and female. And Mr. Potato Head is a children’s toy. If you’ve got a problemático with that… Well, get over it!