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No-Fail Resolutions

Every January I get ambitious and decide this will be the year I will actually follow through with my New Year’s resolutions. Just writing them down is exhilarating—almost as if I’m already there! It feels great to weigh 125, run a marathon, organize my entire house, take voice lessons, paint a masterpiece, write a new book and pass the bar. Yep, for a few days I feel as if I’ve actually accomplished the impossible. After all, writing down your goals is the first step on the road to awesome, right? And it lasts for a good... two, three days, sometimes maybe a week if I’m really determined.

Inevitably though, the realization that I’ve waaay overshot my abilities smacks me in the back of the head with a failure-treated two by four. So what if I stretch an inch while reaching for the stars; I recoil a mile, snapping back like an elastic band marinated in a vat of super-concentrated bad-habit-extract.

Now there’s no law stating you can’t reset your goals to a lower decibel on any day of the year. Every day is a fresh new page, as they say, ready and waiting for anything you want to write on it. That gave me an idea.

What if, to avoid the usual shattered goal hangover, I didn’t write down my resolutions. Instead, I could write on those beautiful fresh new blank pages, resolutions for other people. That way if they don’t get fulfilled, it’s on them. I tried the theory on my husband.

“Honey, here are your New Year’s Resolutions. Enjoy! And you’re welcome!”

I didn’t exactly get the response I was expecting. He ripped my finely crafted work into pieces and tossed them into the trash. Then without a word he continued on his way, which I might add was the road to nowhere. I should have included as #7 Be humble enough to accept others’ suggestions or at least read them before you reject them.

All in all, the ramification of his in-action was just as I had brilliantly hypothesized. I didn’t feel like a failure at all! But, thought I, what if he’d actually read my proposal and took it seriously? This is the point where my mind began to jolt like a bolt. That one simple question drove me to embark on a grand Quixote-like quest.

Can you imagine the impact it would have on the world if I made New Year’s resolutions for a whole slew of people beginning at home, then worked my way through the neighborhood and then on until I reached the White House? If even a fraction of my resolutions were actually achieved, it would have immeasurable influence for good—a much greater yield than simply trying to realize my own puny potential. It's fool-proof!

For just a few bucks, and only to cover the barest of expenses, I would be happy to start any of you off to a gratifying new year with a list of stuff you might do to improve the world beginning with yourself. Ahhh... I feel more productive already! 2019 here I come!