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Touché Cliché!

They say there has never been an original idea. Any thought you can conceive of has already been thought of. I’m not certain about the accuracy of that statement—it’s hard to get my mind around it. Kinda like the chicken and the egg.

It makes a bit of sense when you think about the birth of a cliché. A clichégg hatches when someone makes an assertion that others identify with. They in turn repeat the expression and soon there is a flock of hatchees reverberating or shall I say regurgitating the phrase. Got it?

No? Well, let’s sort this out. So if a clichégg hatches when the hen speaks a catchphrase, she becomes the original source—unless she herself began earlier as a clichégg, i.e. shortly after she was a twinkle in a rooster’s eye. But wait... at that point doesn't she become the clichégg-ee? Oh never mind.

The whole concept reminds me of a joke I thought was so funny when I was a kid. If a chicken can lay 1½ eggs in one day, how many seeds can a wooden-legged bullfrog kick out of a dill pickle? I won’t tell punch line because it doesn’t make any sense either. The point is that no matter how bizarre your hare-brained idea is, someone else hatched it first. Or as a famous nut once said, you didn’t build that bridge. Or maybe you did and someone else drew up the plans? Doesn't matter, it's water under the bridge.

They say (again, I’m quoting "They" and if I ever meet "They" in person I’ve got a few questions, for example, "Their" sources) that you’re not very intelligent if you use a lot of clichés.

Personally, to set the record straight, for the life of me I avoid cliché’s like the plague. I hate to toot my own horn but it’s as plain as day that when push comes to shove, time and time again I make a vain attempt to nip it in the bud and only use dyed in the wool clichés to fit the bill. And at the end of the day that’s the naked truth. Even so, nobody’s perfect and against all odds as hard as it is to believe, I’m only human.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that in the long run, and although it takes nerves of steel, there’s more than one way to skin a cat— too numerous to mention. Now give me the benefit of the doubt and don't jump to conclusions and get your panties in a twist or your nose bent out of shape. I draw the line at skinning actual cats (ew) and I’m not chomping at the bit to do it; but in all reality it could be worse and so I say to each his own. I won’t pull any punches and I hope it won’t rub you the wrong way, but what kind of idiot would skin a cat anyway? I'm just saying. For the record, I couldn't beat a dead horse or lead him to water if my life depended on it.. The very thought sets my teeth on edge and gives me the heebie creepies.

I hope I don’t have clichégg on my face here, but lets just call a spade a spade and answer the burning question on everyone's mind: Is life possible without clichés? Clearly, it’s a no-brainer.


The Print Edition of my new book,

Vincible: In the Wake of a Serial Killer

will soon be released! (The eBook is already out)

I'll keep you posted! Check out the press release in my archive or on the link below.