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Know-it-all

We all know Siri isn’t the brightest color in the crayon box. (Really, Siri? That’s your answer?) I swear she’s manned by someone in India. I’ve tried using positive reinforcement when she gets it right (Good girl, Siri!) but she’s got a mind of her own and doesn’t respond in the least to praise, or for that matter cuss words. Alexa, on the other hand, is a little more forthcoming. Maybe it’s because she’s younger and has better hearing, or perhaps it’s that English is her first language. But that girl’s a stubborn one—when she gets something in her head she really digs in her heels.

Did you say you wanted to hear Merle Haggard?

No, I want to hear Meghan Trainor.

Let me get this right. You want to hear songs by Merle Haggard?

No, Alexa, I want to hear Meghan Trainor.

Shuffling Merle Haggard songs.

Still, I can’t believe I’m complaining. It might take me a couple of exasperated tries but how cool is it to ask a question and get an up-to-date answer without searching unsuccessfully through an archaic encyclopedia or phone book! And it’s nothing short of a miracle to make a verbal request to hear an artist, joke, the forecast or my shopping list and have an instantaneous response!

Hey Siri, who are the Bronco’s playing?

Alexa, what’s the population of Tahoka, Texas?

Hey Siri, when is my husband’s birthday?

Alexa, who’s singing this song?

I told my husband, “I’d love to be a fly on the wall and hear a conversation between Siri and Alexa.”

“Then there would be three know-it-all’s in the room.” He said.

Rude but true. If I flew down off the wall I could probably hold my own in the conversation although I might need to divert the subject sometimes like I've learned from my gal-pals, Siri and Alexa. After all, I am authoritarian know-it-all. Hey, I know, I could be YO Gail!

YO Gail, what’s a good restaurant around her?

That depends on how hungry you are and how much you have in your wallet.

YO Gail, who’s playing in the Super bowl this year?

The teams playing this year are yet to be determined. Duh.

YO Gail, tell me a joke.

A Rabbi, a Priest and a Mullah go into a bar… but I ain’t stupid enough to get into the middle of that.

YO Gail, what’s a good way to celebrate New Year’s Eve?

At your age, you probably won’t be able to stay up until midnight. Try writing a resolution or two around eight and then call it a night.

Yo Gail, Where's a good vacation spot?

Tooele Utah is nice this time of year.

Yo Gail, what's the weather like?

Why don't you step outside and see? Are your legs broken?

Any more questions?