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Steel Trap

Just had another one of dem birthdays. Yup, another year older, another year wiser. Here’s my time-honored philosophy:

Our bodies mature naturally without even trying. As we reach our teens it continues to develop but our minds regress. Ideally, as we age our brain catches up. This means that the older we get the smarter, wiser, keener, shrewder, cleverer and other amazing things that I forget, we become. Unfortunately, as we advance and get even more mature i.e. brilliant, our brains become so overloaded with smarts that we run out of gigabytes. Unless we delete some of the data from our hard drives we slow down, get viruses and become in danger of crashing. It’s simple computer science.

Over the years I’ve become so brilliant i.e. old that my mind has become like a steel trap. Once the information is caught, it can’t get out. So I’m in the process of optimizing my database by downloading more memory, deleting duplicate and temporary files along with other clutter to save disk space and a little sanity.

Here are a few suggestions for the younger i.e. less knowledgeable persons in our lives.

  1. Be patient. This is a life-long process for long-lifers. We may have slower runtimes and recovery systems that contribute to a greater number of corrupt files and errors; but for heaven’s sake, be smart enough to glean the valuable information stored in our archives and algorithms.

  2. Remember that the data we are searching for is in there somewhere. Sometimes the facts and figures are simply caught in that steel trap and can’t wriggle free. If it’s right there on the tip of our tongues or nestled in a corner of our super-brains, try giving us multiple-choice possibilities. We don’t need many options to retrieve a file, generally it takes only one or two and waa lah! There it is!

  3. Consider that your own system will also be obsolete in the time it takes to change your underwear. I guarantee that you too will become a victim of malware. No matter how outdated your model becomes, your body (that includes your brain) is the most amazing computer system on the planet. Nothing else can come even close.

My ancient wisdom is this: It doesn't matter what prototype steel conTRAPtion you have. Cherish the miracle you are and be grateful for every day your operating system runs. If you do that, every birthday you have will be a joyous occasion.