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Boo Humbug

I was browsing through a store when I overheard a conversation between two shoppers:

"I hate Halloween. I'm not putting up a single decoration."

"I hear you. I'm not even going to buy candy. We're going to turn off the lights and we won't answer the doorbell."

I've been known to have a rebellious streak. My response was to forcefully declare, BOO HUMBUG! Okay, you're right, maybe I was too chicken to actually say it out loud, but it got my dander up. I marched right into the thick of the spooky Halloween display and began loading up on fun. Rat skeletons, black crows, a motion-activated black cat with glowing green eyes that yowls like a real feline in heat, tortured by a gang of tomcats—unnerving, annoying and totally awesome!

I’ll admit I’m not one to relish the hard core uber-bloodcurdling, hair-raising-spine-tingling scenes (yeah I really am a chicken) but soft-spook I can handle. I love how excited the kiddos get when they dress up to become someone make-believe and it’s so fun to see them squeal in feigned horror at spiders and webs, jack o' lanterns and haunted houses, ghosts and skeletons. Best of all I like the sugar-rush from all the candy, that in reality is more excitement than sugar which is actually a vegetable.

It’s funny how traditions are passed down from generation to generation. I swear I never taught my children or grandchildren the art of sorting Halloween candy into categories on the floor, counting and re-counting every piece. But sure enough each of them has done it just the same way I did back when. Of course there's always the house that gives out healthy booty like toothbrushes or raisins but that stuff is never in the line-up.

The annual Winegar Halloween party at Nana and Papa's is one of the highlights of the year. Everyone from geezer to toddler dresses up in costumes to parade round the family room, dance the Monster Mash and Thriller, play games and stuff their faces.

I'm trying to decide what I want to be this year. I thought about being Pinocchio but that's much too close to Hillary Clinton with her long nose growing an inch a minute and someone controlling her strings. Way too frightening! I could be Donald Trump but I'm afraid I'd be attacked before I got out of the parking lot and even if I made it in one piece I'd be bombarded by hired or fame-driven women pretending to be princesses. There's no way I could come out unscathed no matter how smart I am or how much I've changed because I'd have a target smack on my face. If I dress as any other presidential candidate I will lose the costume contest for 100% sure, so dressing as a political figure is out. I could be a vampire, but wait... I might be confused for a Special Interest group and beside, there are already plenty of blood-suckers. A goblin, witch or zombie? Argh! No matter how evilly I disguise myself it will look political. I could mascarade as something sweet like a cupcake or puppy? Ugh, still too political, the key word being mascarade.

Okay well, I'll probably think of something. The point is that I'm not going to be a Boo Humbug! I'm going to jump into the occasion determined to make happy memories that will last a lifetime. That objective is something I don't have to disguise.