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Holy Terror

Recent attacks by Virus—wait, Vice-us, no, Isis—has got me to thinking. So if Jihad means fighting a holy war, what would it be like if they were fighting an un-holy war? I can’t for the life of me imagine a less hallowed army of thugs. A wicked group of fellas they are. And their point is what, to take over the world? Get rid of anyone and everyone who isn’t like them? Let’s imagine for a moment what it would be like if they actually converted every living person. First off, there wouldn’t be many heads left to roll. Eventually they would slaughter all associate thugs and would in turn blow themselves up. It wouldn’t take long.

But that’s assuming they really want everyone to be like them. If only it were that simple. Their objective is the same one tyrants have always had. Power. Power to implement laws, power to dispense resources, power to control behavior. So killing all the infidels can’t possibly be the incentive. What good is power if there is no one left to force, extort or boss around? Someone has to stick around to build pyramids and stuff. That’s the real motivation—not religion, for heavens sake. It’s just plain slaves they're after.

If you were to ask them “What’s in your wallet/arsenal?” they would tell you their most powerful weapon is FEAR. I’ll admit I want to ground my family members—never let them out the door into treacherous territory, never let them get on a perilous plane in scary skies. If only I had the power to control them… well, I’d be a tyrant myself. What I need is the courage to fight fear.

Fighting fear is scary but it’s got to be done. What this world needs is the pluck to fight these devils. It takes fearlessness for good to triumph over evil. We need to get off the couch and blow those Holy Terrors straight to the underworld where they can drink their 72 virgin Pina Coladas with Ice-is.