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Getting Into Heaven

Want my opinion on religion? Alright, here it is: I’m for it. Spirituality can’t be undervalued. I’d much rather be a person shot in a church than be a shooter in a church. The later doesn’t have a prayer in hell of getting into heaven.

Although I am a Believer, it doesn’t always follow that I’m an Understander. For example, Matthew 18:3 basically says that unless we are like little children we can’t get into heaven.

If heaven is full of people behaving like children, I’m not so sure I wanna go. I mean, consider a place jam-packed with narcissistic, snot-nosed little brats playing harps with sticky fingers. Not my idea of nirvana, but that’s just me.

Think about it. When kids are hungry they howl. When they’re tired they wail. When they don’t get their way they scream. And when they’re happy they race, giggle, prod and poke. The little buggers are egotistical and covetous.

Children are not angels, even in church. One day I was sitting in the pew with my little grandson, and unlike the rambunctious children behind us, he was reverent and sweet. That is, until he turned around and in a loud voice hollered, “Shut up! I’m trying to sleep!”

And, just to be clear, you may think your little darling is adorable running wildly around the chapel, but… well, let’s just say… he’s not. Actually, people might want to kill the kid—and would—if they weren’t the decent, devout people commonly found in church. Besides, if they did they for sure wouldn’t go to heaven.

The only theory I can come up with to explain Matthew 18:3 is that in translation someone skipped a word? Maybe it was supposed to say, “Except ye… become as sleeping little children.” Sleeping children are indeed the epitome of angelic. A heaven full of sleeping children would be... well, heavenly!

But I may have gotten off track a bit. What I meant to say was that one of the country’s most valuable resources may be religion. Religious societies foster respect and value for life. Religion encourages kindness, love, patience, virtue and generally brings out the best in people. I’d rather be found worshipping in church, heading toward Heaven when I die, than guaranteeing my reservation in Hell by becoming a shooter.

Sorry I got distracted. My inner child got the best of me.