Off the Wall

Have you ever tried to cut something with only one half of a scissor?  I can’t say that I have, because… well, that would just be stupid.  What would be the point?  It takes both blades to work effectively, and neither side can claim to be more significant.  It’s called a pair of scissors for a reason and together they make a functioning tool.  However, one side alone can be deadly.  It can cut like a knife, blade or sword, and can make a permanent, even lethal impression.

“Where are the scissors?” Is a common refrain heard in most houses—and nowhere is the answer more important than in the People’s House—the House of Representatives.  Nothing of true principle can be cut there unless both sides are working together to improve the fabric of our society.   Whether cutting deals or writing laws, it takes synergy and cooperation to balance the important work of the household.  Doing it with one side can create nothing more than a hack job....

We had the music cranked up and were dancing in the backyard.  

“Why can’t I dance like you and the grandkids?” I asked my daughter.

“Because you’re not black,” was the resounding, collective answer.

I sighed.  Unfortunately, I’m not even a good dancer for a white girl.  Although some of my paler grandkids are exceptionally talented—no thanks to me—according to my astute scientific research, there’s something remarkable about the natural rhythm embedded in African American DNA.  Kinda true in sports, as well.  Some might call it Black Privilege.  Not me… I’m too woke.  (Please wake me up when all the nonsense is over.)

Let’s face it, there are hundreds, if not millions of colors, talents, features, faults, qualities, personalities, strengths, weaknesses, culpabilities and abilities.  I want to focus on 2+2=4.  Black/blue Dems and Red/White GOP.  Never before have the two been so stark, and I’m not talking about race.  Well, maybe...

There are a lot of questions floating around my brain these days.  Some of them are frivolous, such as:  

Why doesn’t Catniss Everdean’s quiver ever run out of arrows?  

If a tree falls in the forest without someone posting it, did it really fall?  

Did Jesus wear a man-bun? 

Was Don Quixote considered a Dazed Knight?

Is the Spanish language sexist?

If I’m the superior intelligence, shouldn’t my cat be the one reading the pamphlet on understanding me instead of the other way around?  

Does anyone really like Mona Lisa’s smile?

Although I’d really like answers to these questions, there are other questions more pressing that need resolving.  Such as:

Why does anybody think it’s okay to graffiti public streets with personal political slogans?  Don’t the roads belong to all taxpayers, regardless of their political opinion?   Do mayors, governors, or Al Sharlatan have anything better to do than pander?

Why can't I attend...

I need one of those T-shirts that say “I Can’t Breathe!”  I assume they’re referring to masks because every time I wear one I gasp for air.  The other day I put one on before going into a store and was so frazzled that I dropped my wallet.  Then I dropped it again.  And again.  Then one more time.  The mask not only hinders my air intake, it clouds my brain and impairs my vision.  I’m learning that it helps if I don’t pull it up over my eyes.  Even then, it throws me off balance.  I’ve tripped and fallen flat on my face a couple times.  I think wearing the mask is just as dangerous to older people as The Covid.  

Today I went into a store with my 15-year-old grandson, both of us sporting fashion masks.

Ew, I told him, I can’t stand to breathe my own breath.  

He laughed and said I shoulda used more mouthwash.  That gave me an idea.  They had a sanitizing station at the front door, so I went back and slathered some on the inside of my mask....

Broccoli?  Yuck!  Cancel that.

My house is extremely modern.  Yours is traditional.  Sheesh who lives like that? You have terrible taste—so out of touch. Throw everything out, burn it down.  I don’t care what you do, just change it and be quick about it. 

You’re seriously going to wear that?  I’m afraid not.  NoCanDo.  Where you from, Nerd City?

You set a curfew for your teenager?  What happened to trust?  Turn in your parenting card immediately.

I don’t like your movie choices.  Don’t believe in your religion.  You voted for WHOM?  You did WHAT?  You think THAT?  You’re a racist!  A bigot!  You’re fired!  Where’s my CANCEL stamp?  Did you not get the memo on acceptableness?

I know, I know… you used to be able to have your own ideas—even express them without fear.  Well, get over it.  Things have changed.  Free-thinkers are a thing of the past and if you dare to disagree there will be serious, even dire consequences....

My jaw dropped in horror as I watched two teenage girls on social media exclaiming that our country is nothing to celebrate this 4th of July.  They encouraged everyone NOT to wear red white and blue because it would be an embarrassment to wear the symbols of a racist country.

Holy Whacko!!  Honestly, talk about privilege!  Do people not realize the privilege it is to live in the United States of America?  I’ve both traveled and lived outside of the U.S. and every time I arrive back on this sacred soil I literally want to kiss the ground!  I take a  breath of relief and fill my lungs with with the blessed air of freedom.  These immature girls and every one who agrees with them need to go live somewhere else for awhile.  When they come back we would welcome patriots instead of patri-brats.

The morale of our Men in Blue—our brave police men and women—has never been so low.  They have been abused with horrible chants, threats, spitting and massive disrespec...

I played a game of “Would You Rather” with my grandkids that got us all thinking and discussing— indeed a rare activity these days.  

Would you rather be a great teacher or be a great student?  Be incredibly smart or incredibly popular?  Change the past or see into the future?  Read the book or watch the movie?  Would you rather be the first person to explore a new planet or invent a drug that cures a deadly disease?  Would you rather live as a black man in the south in the 1800’s or be a woman in Afghanistan today?  Pretty deep convo for kids who’d rather play video games or snapchat than anything else.

One question was “Would you rather go left where nothing is right or go right where nothing is left?  Huh?  That made no sense.   Still it got me thinking about politics—something I’d rather not do.

Would you rather hire a rich person with solid practical financial experience to get our economy back on its feet or a person who’s made themselves a fo...

My grandkids love Minecraft and other video games that allow their inventive juices to flow.  They build innovative buildings, communities and cities.  There are four difficulty levels in Minecraft: Peaceful, Easy, Normal and Hard.  In the Peaceful mode, hostile mobs won't spawn, but like in life, there are hazards.  I doubt there is a "New Normal" level but even Easy and Normal have their challenges.  Hard level is what we are experiencing now.  We may not have actual zombies but some members of Congress and the Senate come close and we have violent mobs spawning in every city and community.  

I’m willing to bet the places the kids construct are nothing like the Autonomous Zones the BLM groups are attempting to develop.  Most of the anarchists that are taking over have never built anything in their lives.  How do I know that?  Because there is a fundamental difference between builders and destroyers, creators and demolishers.  When people ar...