She raises her arm and with a downbeat, the song begins. Her purple flowered blouse doesn’t hide the excess flesh hanging like an upside-down Popeye muscle in need of a spinach fix. It flaps to and fro in perfect rhythm. Her hair is dyed a deep carrot orange that brings out the complimentary blue of her eye shadow. That, in turn brings out the sparkle of her clear, root-beer-colored eyes.
It’s evident that she loves leading the music. The longer the hymn can be drawn out, the better. A simple 3/4 time can easily be transformed into slow-mo. And don’t try speeding things up by singing faster—it’s totally ineffective.
I’m gonna be honest with you here. The Church Chorister doesn’t really look like that. I made her up. Well, all but the slow-mo. That part’s true. And the uselessness of singing faster. Trust me, it doesn’t help.
What I really want to talk about is the people singing the songs the chorister leads. Not all the peo...