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April 1, 2015

She raises her arm and with a downbeat, the song begins.  Her purple flowered blouse doesn’t hide the excess flesh hanging like an upside-down Popeye muscle in need of a spinach fix.  It flaps to and fro in perfect rhythm.  Her hair is dyed a deep carrot orange that brings out the complimentary blue of her eye shadow.  That, in turn brings out the sparkle of her clear, root-beer-colored eyes.  

It’s evident that she loves leading the music.  The longer the hymn can be drawn out, the better.  A simple 3/4 time can easily be transformed into slow-mo.  And don’t try speeding things up by singing faster—it’s totally ineffective.

I’m gonna be honest with you here. The Church Chorister doesn’t really look like that.  I made her up.  Well, all but the slow-mo.  That part’s true.  And the uselessness of singing faster. Trust me, it doesn’t help. 

What I really want to talk about is the people singing the songs the chorister leads.  Not all the peo...

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